Saturday, February 4, 2017


This is a story not a blog post so please ignore if you're looking for ART!
The college emailed me asking if I would like to teach Art Appreciation in a months time.
You know me - I love to teach Art Appreciation it's my favorite class of all time.
I said "I think so!"
I went in on Thursday to figure out what I would have to do in order to teach. 
Some of you may not know but I was adjunct art faculty at CMC for 4 years - 2007 till 2011.
I taught Art Appreciation, Art history, Printmaking, Figure drawing, Fiber design, and photography. 
I was all over the place and then I got the boss from hell. So I left.
In 1988 when I graduated from CSULB I ordered 10 official transcripts so I could apply for
teaching jobs. As you can see above in the lower right hand corner it says OFFICIAL 
You can see the seal is not broken and the stamps occur over the tape and the envelope.
The response from the transcript person - THE STUDENT HAS HAD THIS IN HER POSSESSION 
Evidently I manufactured my MIGHTY FINE ARTIST DEGREE in the comfort of my home. 
Well you know me - my response was - I'm not a thirty year old who
received their degree over the internet I actually attended school - without a computer. My next line
was "my dad invented Scotch Tape." Which is fairly accurate. My dad was a mechanical engineer who
Graduated from Cooper Union with a bunch of his engineering buddies. They all headed to Wright Field with their
families to work on plane technology in Dayton, Ohio for the War effort after graduation. 
    After the war they picked up their families and all moved to St. Paul, Minnesota.
This talented group of engineers worked at 3M in the tape and ribbon division. That's where my retort comes
from - my dad invented Scotch Tape! Anyway these engineers created bow making machines - tape making machines for 3M. 
That's where your tape comes from and the bows for all your presents. Sasheen Ribbon - nothing like the real McCoy.
As I said I had worked at CMC previously and thought the hiring process would pretty much be a slam dunk. 
My transcript debacle was the first glitch. That damn scotch tape.
The transcript reviewer didn't know that in 1988 a real person licked and taped your envelope and a real 
person stamped your OFFICIAL TRANSCRIPT 4 or 5 times. You'd think the transcript reviewer 
would've been kind of excited to open my time capsule of a transcript but alas that was not the case. 
If I wanted to continue with the hiring process I would have to order new transcripts. 
Well if you know me you know what my response was - but I can't publish my thoughts. It wouldn't be nice.
Part 2
       THE APPLICATION! All 67 pages!!!!!!!!!!! 
THEN  We went to the art room to take a look at where I would be teaching. The year I left they tore down the Art building to build a multi million dollar new state of the art campus. GOOD IDEA IN THEORY - TURNS OUT
The Office people got all the views of the valley the art room got a view of nothing other than the hill which acts like a wall. 
No natural light - nada - no - the desks are lined up like grade school and there's no utility sink???!!!! 
Then the last assault on my intelligence meter - I was told by my interviewer after my lectures
I am to ask the students to open the drawers on their desk - take out their Mr. Clean white erasers
and clean the top of their desk???!!!!!!!??????? This is after a lecture not a project. 
I wondered if I had stumbled into the elementary school by mistake. Do you see my dilemma? I thought long and hard(about 15 seconds) and said I changed my mind.    Part 3  
Working on my Ph.D. in Phys - Ed with Scotch Tape in hand. Applying for a job near you
That's my story and I'm sticking to it! 
Be careful what you wish for
Thanks a bunch - serial transcript artist on the loose!

1 comment:

  1. This is crazy. BIG wow on your dad being part of the scotch tape story. Very cool. NOT so cool to teach art in a room with no sink, no natural light, and lined up desks. Bizarre experience just to teach at cmc....